My first thought was to put it on Ebay - and I may just do that. But I'm sure it has far more value than that. I'm actually thinking of having a limited-edition aftermarket run made of the sacred spud. They will be signed and numbered. I think the poor of the world could probably afford those as I could keep the price reasonable - say about $250. I've seen how much money those who can least afford to give cough up for those greaseball televangelists on the loser channel. If I threw in a prayer hankie, I could probably add another $80 to the price. I think I'll have my people contact Jimmy Swaggart's people, ORAL Roberts or, better yet, that whacky faith healer guy on tv. That's it! He could place the potato Jesus on an poor suffering individual's head, push back with force, knock them into the waiting arms of poorly-paid stage hands and reap enough monetary reward to build more amusement parks! Jesus would be proud!

And the original. Wow! I tremble with excitement. That should bring in a very high price at auction, but I won't go blue-collar Ebay with that. I'm thinking of having it insured (Lloyd's of London?) and then contacting some higher end auctions that cater to rich celebrities who don't wear panties and can't control themselves at parties. Or, simply go public with it, and use it's equity for a stock offering. Jesus was really into offerings (if you don't believe it, walk into any Baptist church and they will make that abundantly clear) so that type of thing should reap me great rewards.

The Lord would have me to be a good steward, so I will have to really put some thought into how I leverage the Heart-Shaped Potato Jesus apparition so that it continues to bless and bless and bless abundantly not only for me, but for my family and my family's family and my family's family's family.

Here is a photo of the Heart-Shaped Potato Jesus apparition. (Note, the word apparition is only used to score high in the search engine for lonely rich, misguided people who are disillusioned with life and are looking for images of the divine on common household items).

Bear in mind that while you are reading this, spyware has been downloaded onto your computer to log all keystrokes. Soon, I will have your passwords, your social security number, your credit card number and all those "midnight chats" you have with your "special friend" while your spouse is sleeping. I can probably monetize those too. All in the name of God.

The sad fact, my friend, is that this is nothing compared to how well you can be "taken" by organized religion, especially the kind on television. Stay away from it. This is just a potato - and those shucksters are potato-heads - laughable at best, dangerous in every way and, as so often turns out, usually hyprocrites, criminals, scam artists, pedophiles - take your pick.

I hope this touched you in ways you never thought you'd let me touch you. It was good for me. :)