Paul, I want to wish you a happy Veterans Day! I have known you since you were a long-haired hippie kid. Now you're a short-haired hippie kid. You have served our country well and despite our differences in the past on Gulf War I, you have honored America and honored me with your bravery. You are one of my very dearest friends (you and Paul Funari, to whom I also owe gratitude for his service) and I look forward to many more years of friendship and that "zing" we seem to have. I am honored to call you "Feller 2" and have always been in awe of you for doing something I never chose to do - put my life on the line to protect the principles of America. You are, in my book, the brightest and best. (Okay, now you owe me some of those Viagra pills you deal... ;)

(Don't give up. It seems like you squandered your efforts in the Middle East after the last, most recent election but look at the bright side - can't wait to see all the funny pictures of Nancy Pilosi in drag, doing elephants, sucking chrome, etc.)