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While driving to our Thanksgiving feast yesterday, we passed the Kitsap Mall and I saw the large "Going out of Business" sign on the Mervyn's store. Personally, I am glad to see the big-box store, Mervyn's going away. That said, I do feel for the employees who have been displaced.
I have avoided Mervyn's thoughout my entire adult life. My stepmom basically lived at Mervyn's and every time she took us shopping, it was to Mervyn's. There are memories and associations there that I do not like. And that's it - that's why I've not shopped at Mervyn's.
Still, though, I'm glad to see them go away. These retailers just drive me crazy. They rape their customers with high-interest rate credit cards, luring them in with sales and other gimmicks, oftentimes preying on those who have to use their credit as a means of survival. They (like Sears) build the credit card racket into the most lucrative part of their business, but then cry and lament when bankruptcies or a downturn in the economy cause the most lucrative part of their business to drop out through the bottom of the funnel.
And the Holidays really illustrate their collective greed. Year after year, the retailers whine about lower-than-projected sales numbers the day after Thanksgiving and continue to whine about it throughout the remainder of the holiday season. And, as so often happens, they do end up with increases of several percentage points and that just gets quietly squirreled away into the banks and nothing else is said. I think the whining is a ploy to get sympathy from the working class, to encourage people who can least afford it to get out and step up to the twenty-plus percent interest rates on crap they really don't need and certainly can't afford.
You can piss and moan about WalMart and the discount retailers all you want, but they are making a good effort to provide goods and services at reasonable prices. They are large employers with loyal workforces. Yes, there probably is some Corporate rape going on, but it's not as painful in the end as that inflicted by the "glamor" or big-box stores. And true, the quality of merchanise at WalMart leaves a lot to be desired, particularly in the toy department. But at least the consumer has choices that they can afford.
In my book, Fred Meyer is the place to shop - and I try to spend as much of my discretionary income there as possible. Thus far, it's a straight-up organization, one with good moral standards and one that is friendly to charitable causes. I can say the same for Costco.
As for Mervyn's, good riddance.
Happy Thanksgiving. I mean it.
I hope we can all appreciate what we have, and what we've earned as a society and culture. We have it so good here in the United States - no wonder overseas dictatorial regimes are so jealous and envious of us. Sadly, we squabble, point fingers at one another, assign blame, refuse any responsibility and, often, fracture our own selves and those we love with anger, bitterness and animosity. Our Mid-Eastern adversaries must get quite a kick over watching us trip over ourselves to apologize for and lament over that which we have in such bountiful plentitude - that precious gift they spill blood with wanton disregard to deny the same to their own people.
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope we, as individuals and as a nation, can center ourselves again. We lean too right or too left but lately, it seems we are leaning toward defeat and to those who would do us harm, and oftentimes breaking our backs to do so.
I am proud to be an American. I am proud of our heritage. I do not regret living in the land of the free. I make no apologies for the fact that I have freedoms that most others in our world do not have. And I appreciate them every morning, afternoon, evening and night. For that, I am most thankful. I am grateful to those who serve this country with bravery and honor and wish them all safety and peace in those places where I know the very concepts are tenuous or utterly foreign.
For those who wish not Thanksgiving, but a pardon from the world for the imagined atrocities of Western Civilization, I still wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. And then I wish that you would go wherever you think things are so much better than they are here. Your voices carry from the home stand bleachers, but there is plenty of room across the field.
Happy Thanksgiving, and I wish you a Merry Christmas to come ...
Okay. I have a friend at work - for this venue, I will just call her Mandy. Okay, you got me, that is her real name. And she's blonde. I was in charge of a fundraising effort at work, so we decided to do a spaghetti feed. You'll read more about that later in the "Fundraising" part of this blog. At any rate, I'm very meticulous in preparation and prefer to communicate by email. Today, the day before the fundraiser, I sent Mandy two emails reminding her about the fundraiser.
She wrote back: "Jim, if I get one more email from you about the spaghetti feed, I'm gonna croak."
It didn't take long for me to formulate a plan. Read more ...
Within minutes, I had about 20 emails out to other people in the company asking them to remind Mandy about the spaghetti feed. The response was overwhelming, so I carried it to the next step.
Since I know people at her previous place of employment, I emailed them to also email Mandy to remind her about the spaghetti feed. Again, the response was very positive.
Mandy personally answered each email, and most people sent those responses back to me. I can tell you, I was laughing my butt off.
I ran into Mandy at a committee meeting at lunch and asked her how her day was going. In her very sarcastic way she said: "Oh, fine, Jim. But I'm a LITTLE BUSY with EMAILS!" So, I took it to the next level.
Knowing an instructor at Western Washington University, all the way across the state, I send him a note, hoping to get him to have his class email her. I sent a note to Mandy's husband, Peter, asking him to email and to get friends and family on board.
By this time, the email was propogating throughout the workplace, and Mandy was inundated with emails from inside the workplace and from outside.
And then, the crowing achievement - a stunt so bold that even Mandy's husband had to write: "THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST PRANK EVER!"
I emailed the Mayor of our fine town, asking HIM to email Mandy to remind her of the spaghetti feed, and also invited him to be a guest of honor at the spaghetti feed tomorrow. I don't know if his schedule will permit, but I know the Mayor personally and I know that he will do everything within his power to add spark to this flame.
So there is another workplace prank idea. It's something we all can use. Be creative. Get participation inside the company first, and then start taking it outside - in concentric circles, widening the reach each time.
DO YOU HAVE A GOOD WORKPLACE PRANK? Post a comment here and let us read about it!
Tomorrow, Monday, Nov. 13, 2006, committee members for the South Kitsap Relay for Life will hold a meeting at a local business. I will be joining them as Chairperson of the committee. I am very excited to have this opportunity. Having never really been involved with the Relay for Life, it will be a new challenge - one that is very personal to me.
I've been to a few Relays and have had a good time raising money for a good cause but the older I get, I'm finding that cancer is no longer a vague concept but a real, deadly-serious disease that affects us all. I lost a dear friend, Sarajean Taylor to breast cancer several years ago, and I miss her daily. My mother-in-law is now fighting cancer. A good friend at work goes in for his second operation next month to remove cancerous material from his brain. And I, against all common sense, am a smoker.
I would encourage you, in whatever community you live, to support your local Relay for Life. We always need volunteers, and your financial support is critical to support new advances in the fight against cancer.
I've been involved with community service groups and other volunteer organizations but this is one that really hits close to home and really makes a difference. It's not about egos, stuffy lunch meetings, or class rankings within the group. No secret handshakes, no pins to wear, no wasting time by singing national anthems to other countries, as some community service groups do. This is real, down-in-the-trenches work, and we fight only a small battle in the overall war against this terrible disease.
We can use your support. Get involved. Come to a Relay. Tell your friends. Form a team. It's a lot of fun, and a great way to make a real impact and/or to honor a loved one who faces cancer.
I'm well-known for my pranks - remember the "email Mandy to remind her about the spaghetti feed" prank? At any rate, here's the latest:
Okay, a bit of history. Mark always comes in late, or doesn't come in at all. On Thursday, Lance had a hard time getting to work because of the snow. He called Mark Jackson FOUR times asking if Mark could pick him up and give him a ride to work. Mark never called back and Lance managed to get into work, albeit late, as he had to wait for the snow to melt. Needless to say, Lance was more than just a little irritated that Mark never returned his calls - but it's what he's come to expect from Mark.
Lance was telling me about this and I said: "Hey, you should have text messaged him. He sits and plays with this text messaging phone all day anyway, so he probably would have gotten right back to you."
And with that, I hit on an idea - to prove my point. "Lance," I said. "I will send Mark a text message. I'll bet he gets RIGHT back to me." And, lo and behold, Mark answered my text message within two minutes. As you can see, I had to pick a name out of the air so he wouldn't know it was me. I picked Carrie - first name that popped into my head - as I just finished reading "Carrie" by Stephen King. The following conversation took place via text messaging over a twenty minute time frame:
JIM: You are late to work.
MARK: Who is this?
JIM: Carrie :) - I was looking for you this morning.
MARK: Carrie?
JIM: Surpised?
MARK: Yes. LOL. Carrie who? :-)
JIM: Oh now come on, Mark. Think about it. You know who!
MARK: Hint #1. When did I see you last?
JIM: Don't get squirrely on me!!! I am coming to the play tomorrow. Will
you be at work Friday?
MARK: Hey! Are you visiting?
JIM: Visiting? I don't understand. I came in looking for you this
morning but the room was dark and locked. Kinky!
MARK: Is it open now? :-x
JIM: I have not gone back down - was in meetings all morning. I can send
someone down to look if you'd like.
MARK: Ok. Which show are you going to see?
JIM: Nutcracker. At Bremerton High. You are in it, right?
MARK: Right! I'll be at work Friday, and maybe later today.
JIM: Ok, will see you later today! Gotta run, Karen needs me for a bit.
TTYL!
MARK: Is this Carrie W?
With that, I didn't respond, as I'd already told Mark that I had to run. Mark did show up later that afternoon (after I had left work). I'm told that he questioned his coworker(s) about who had come looking for him - someone named Carrie. Everyone played along and now Mark (not here today) is still left to wonder about all this ... about the secretive Carrie who "likes him" enough to text him and is coming to see him in the "Nutcracker" Friday night...
PART TWO IS EVEN BETTER! Click here!
Okay. After a successful prank on the first day, we never imagined that it would continue all the way through a second day! But when Mark called in again, we knew we had to do it. This time, his excuse was more creative - he had to go visit a chiropractor and would "come in later if he felt better." We've heard that line enough to know that he wouldn't be in.
So I went to work again with my cell phone, reviving the text-messaging session from the day before, where I had Mark convinced that a hottie named Carrie was interested in him and a play he was appearing in.
To understand this, you'll need to know a few things. "SOLD DATA" is a term we use in the workplace. It will mean nothing to you, but it means a lot to Mark. It is a term that ONLY occurs within the confines of our work group and was used in this context as a huge "Gotcha!" It's also important to realize that what you will read here spanned about four and a half hours. Mark was quote-unquote "working from home" part of the day and while I was feeding him more text-message lines, he was on email to several coworkers taking care of little bits of business here and there. He never mentioned any of this to his coworkers.
If you haven't read yesterday's "Part One" of this prank, you may want to read it before continuing by clicking here.
DAY TWO:
JIM: Oh crap, not sure if I can make the show tonight - what time is it again?
MARK: 8
JIM: Will see what I can do - something else just came up with my brother.
MARK: Okie Dokie
JIM: I will have to leave here by 2 today. Will you be in? I have something special for you!
MARK: I'm headed to the doctor now. I might be there by 2. What is it?! What is it?!
JIM: Oh damn, you may not want it if your back is acting up!
JIM: (Later) Sorry I missed you - I will try to come to the play.
MARK: Is it heavy?
JIM: No, but it's bigger than a bread box. And sweet!
MARK: What is it shaped like?
JIM: A half moon! I am driving in Poulsbo right now so sorry so slow on typing. What time will you get to the play
tonight and will you be alone?
MARK: A half moon? Hmmmm. You are driving in Poulsbo?
JIM: Coming back from Bainbridge - at Casino grabbing a quick late lunch. You are at work, right?
MARK: Not yet. I am driving from Poulsbo.
MARK: What color is it?
JIM: The casino?
MARK: No, the thing.
JIM: I am leaving the casino. Spilled a cold Coke down the front of my blouse. :(
MARK: Oh no! I bet that was cold.
JIM: I am changing in my car - I have a dry sweat shirt and not sure that I can make it home to change before the play.
MARK: Hope nobody sees ya! It's good that you kept a sweatshirt in the car. Where are you sitting?
JIM: Still on third level of parking garage. It's pretty private, I can only see a few people walking by.
MARK: Is it a cool sweatshirt?
JIM: No, got it from Judy last Christmas but didn't want to say anything. Heading back into Poulsbo now.
MARK: Judy Nichols?
MARK: (Later) I almost guessed what you have for me but the breadbox part didn't fit.
JIM: That's just an expression. I have to stop at Central Valley Market real quickie.
MARK: They have those there?
JIM: Of course. But I need to get some "girl stuff..."
MARK: Like dolls and jewelry and stuff?
JIM: Close. Seafood and ... SOLD DATA!
JIM: Zero sold. Thought you'd like to know.
MARK: Ok. I'm freaking out now!
JIM: That was our plan. Thanks for playing. You made it too easy but I got SOLD DATA!
JIM: There is a taco on your desk. Half moon shaped.
At this point, my cell phone rang. Why Mark never even rang my phone to see who would answer is beyond me. But I was prepared - I had deactivated my voicemail greeting, so he couldn't have found out. (If he had pulled the "Emergency Contacts" card out of his wallet, though, he would have spotted my cell number.) We were pretty sure we'd be safe on that one.
I answered the cell phone. "Is this MARK?"
And then it was over. Yes, he was fooled by this. He also told me he was a bit freaked out by the whole thing. Actually, I think he was secretly overjoyed to have "a stalker," but I can see how he might have been a little freaked out. I had hoped that he might try to meet up with "Carrie" in Poulsbo as they were both in the same general area, but the timing didn't work out. Had that happened, I would have checked a public casino web cam and directed him to a real Bremelo. Or a big hairy biker.
At any rate, this prank was all in fun and I can't believe that Mark swallowed it hook, line and sinker for two days. In the end, I have to hand it to him for being a good sport.
I can only leave Mark with this advice: "Next time a coworker calls asking you for a ride to work, you'd better call him back." It was the failure to return that call that set this entire prank into place.
One other thing to consider: Jim authors books. He has a very vivid imagination and loves to pull pranks. That's a volatile combination. Look out - you never know who will fall victim to the next prank! (Those who provide me with peanut butter cookies and/or Taco Bell hardshell tacos are exempt from pranks!)
This is a simple prank that can be pulled by anyone in any workplace. Try it! Let me know how it works out. Have you pulled a good prank? Leave a comment, share it with the rest of us!
Paul, I want to wish you a happy Veterans Day! I have known you since you were a long-haired hippie kid. Now you're a short-haired hippie kid. You have served our country well and despite our differences in the past on Gulf War I, you have honored America and honored me with your bravery. You are one of my very dearest friends (you and Paul Funari, to whom I also owe gratitude for his service) and I look forward to many more years of friendship and that "zing" we seem to have. I am honored to call you "Feller 2" and have always been in awe of you for doing something I never chose to do - put my life on the line to protect the principles of America. You are, in my book, the brightest and best. (Okay, now you owe me some of those Viagra pills you deal... ;)
(Don't give up. It seems like you squandered your efforts in the Middle East after the last, most recent election but look at the bright side - can't wait to see all the funny pictures of Nancy Pilosi in drag, doing elephants, sucking chrome, etc.)
I first met both of these individuals at a South Kitsap Kiwanis breakfast meeting. Each candidate was given time to answer questions from the audience and to make general opening and closing statements. When I first saw Ron Boehme, I thought, "Man, he's getting my vote." He was sharply dressed, professional in appearance and besides - I vote Republican anyway. When Larry Seaquist got up, I knew I wouldn't vote for him. He looked to be 138 years old and lacked Boehme's slick, professional delivery. But over the course of the next half hour, I knew that I would never vote for Boehme and that Seaquist had my support. And now that the election is over, I was delighted to see Seaquist soar to victory.
Ron Boehme used his time bashing gays and espousing the virtues of family and Christianity. Okay, so that's fine with me. I'm not at all a supporter of the gay lifestyle, I'm very pro-life, very family-oriented and I do have my spiritual beliefs - all the characteristic attributes of a good Republican. So what was it that turned me off of Ron Boehme?
Well, for one, he came across as a well-dressed prick, a Trojan Horse that looked sharp and neat on the outside but was, I feel, disingenuous on the inside and filled with bigotry and bitterness, one who considered himself so far above the majority of his constituents that I constantly felt he was looking down his nose at us. I thought he missed his mark in life - he probably would have made a fortune and sucked millions of dollars from blindly loyal religious nuts had he become a televangelist. His whole delivery smackled of an infomercial or, worse yet, a Bible-thumping crusade. Okay, Ron, we know you are against the gay lifestyle. So are the majority of us. Move on. But no, he had to keep coming back to it and blaming that for the demise of the family unit, the demise of Christianity, the crack that would someday split apart America. He went on and on about family and how the family unit is being destroyed by Democrats (and by gays). I kept thinking of my wonderful family and all the wonderful family units in my family and social circles and kept trying to connect the dots, but all the lines kept pointing to "pompous asshole."
Larry Seaquist, on the other hand, talked at length about social and fiscal conservatism. He had real ideas about how to shrink spending and how to bring common-sense to our local government. He didn't preach, nor did he stoop to Boehme's level to hurl personal insults. I was very impressed with what I heard, even coming from a Democrat.
Let's hope that he lives up to his words and that he serves us well. As for Ron Boehme, he might want to take my suggestion and get into televangelism. Or selling Amway. Or snake-oil. Because that's, figuratively speaking, all I heard from him during that 30 minute sermon of his. Kitsap County is better off without him.
Did you see all the Iraqi celebrations on television following Saddam Hussein's sentence of death by hanging? They were ecstatic! They would kill him with their own hands, if they had the chance. Of course, we're only talking about the Shiites and the Kurds, but that's 85% of the country.
But, whoa! Here's an article from our ally, Saudi Arabia, talking about how Bush's "spreading of fear" is backfiring, and making all our lives miserable: Click here to read.
The only thing I fear is fear itself. And Nancy Pelosi. (Okay, Hillary and Gregoire, too. They should just get sex-change operations and turn into little Ted Kennedy's. I'll buy them their first drink.)
Wooohooooooooo! Remember the pollsters? Months ago, this man "had no chance" - just as he didn't while manacled to Albert Gore, inventer of all things we all hold dear. This night is getting exciting! Congrats to all who voted for Mr. Lieberman!
I'm doing something I look forward to doing every two years - taking tomorrow off and spending some quality time with my cat, some Miller Lite and my television - watching election returns. Of course, you know that this is going to be a DEMOCRATIC UPSET! It's a referendum against President Bush!!! You know, everything that has gone wrong in this country in the last six years has been ALL HIS DAMN FAULT!
My heat pump failed two months ago, and it cost $9,000 to replace it. DAMMIT BUSH! My roof was leaking and I had to spent $10,000 on a new roof. DAMMIT BUSH! The DOW Jones just set record levels and the economy is thriving. DAMMIT BUSH! And, don't forget the 4 percent unemployment. What a LOSER of a President. We've captured many terrorist leaders and Saddam has been sentenced to death, overjoying 85% of Iraqis. Damn President of ours.
I get a kick out of this supposed DEMOCRATIC SWEEP and the referendum. Of course, it may happen. There are enough ill-informed people in this country. It worries me that they can even be allowed to enter the polls with hatred and animosity, largely formed from ignorance and narrow focuses on domestic and world affairs. But, if we let them shop and Safeway and operate motor vehicles, I guess we can't deny them their vote.
My dear friend, Paul Zimmerman, is watching election results from Pullman. Here's what he wrote a few moments ago:
I'm watching election results, too, and muttering under my breath about the pollsters. Worse, really, are the people who predict outcomes based off of polling - don't they realize that pollsters operate in places with higher population densities mainly? That would be cities, of course, which tend to be more liberal. When all of the votes are counted and reality sets in, well... I think we may be in for a long string of court cases over "stolen elections" if a Democrat revolution doesn't happen and the crybabies flip out.
Yes, I'm sure there will be litigation. When you don't have anything to stand on, at least you have lawyers to fall back on.
I'm going to enjoy my Miller Lite, pet my cat, and watch the festivities. It's a circus-like atmosphere, and entertaining at best. And that's exactly what it will be if the Democrats take the house - minus the entertainment part, that is.
This area of the blog is for discussion of artists and their releases, lifestyles, motivations and concerts. However, there is another blog of mine where I post photos from live concerts.
Click here to view photos from the Nov. 2, 2006 Bill Cosby performance at Western Washington University. A video clip will be posted soon.
Did you attend the show? What did you think? Post it here! And even if you didn't attend the show, what do you think of Bill Cosby? He's not been one to avoid controversy lately with this "out there" outlook on today's young African Americans. Is he right? Is he wrong? And there are other Cosby-related controversies as well. Here's your chance to weigh in ...
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